I think by this point that it should be painfully obvious to everyone Republicans aren’t conservatives and conservatives aren’t Republicans. I’ve been struggling lately to define what, exactly, the Republican Party is on a philosophical level – and I think I’ve finally settled on an answer. The Republican Party represents an entirely different branch of conservative thought, completely different and separate from religious conservatism, fiscal conservatism, libertarianism, or any other form of conservatism that leaps to mind. Unquestioningly, the Republican Party is an entirely different beast. It is popular conservatism.

Say it loud. Say it proud. Hell no!

I roll my eyes every time I see the poll numbers about which candidate I’d rather have a beer with. So what if the president looks good without his shirt on? If Hillary is doing shots on the campaign trail, shouldn’t that tell us something? … something profoundly wrong? Does the fact that McCain’s teeth look a creepy change his stance on cap and trade? Does Sotomayor’s (I’m pronouncing it So-toe-my-err on general bloody principle) skin color make her a better judge?

I realize that to some people this may sound like the whining of a privileged white male bemoaning social justice, but there’s no justice here. Minorities deserve special treatment, the apologists claim, because the prosperity of whites was built upon the enslavement of others and therefore reverse racism is merely the leveling of the playing field. On this, I call bullshit. It’s absolutely absurd. The insanity of such a statement is so enormous that I have trouble articulating how ridiculous it is because of the sheer volume of reasons that instantly leap to mind and struggle to come rushing forth all at once.