I am a friend of nature. I am an Eagle Scout. I am a conservationist. I go camping. I fish. I bike. I hike. I’ve raised money for keeping green space in our community from being turned into strip centers and town homes. I’ve built trails, reclaimed camp sites, and have planted quite literally hundreds of trees. Above all, I look forward to passing on the greatness of the outdoors to my own children some day. The environment is an issue that is very near and dear to my heart.

But it is a quality of life issue.

I believe the Earth is, as it always has, undergoing a process of climate change. I don’t think this process is new. I don’t think humanity is the root cause. I don’t think we’re headed for the apocalypse. Herein lies my problem: in the environmental debate, both sides want to frame the issue like you’re either an unwashed hippie or a diabolical strip miner and there’s no in between.

I call bullshit.

If we were facing a world of smog and haze, or of rising flood waters and sunken cities, or of cancer and emphysema to those dared venture out of doors, or of no ozone layer and hazardous solar radiation or of nuclear wastelands and toxic water, or anything even remotely like that, I would proudly support a sudden and draconian regulation of our lives and industry to put an end to it – but that’s not what is going on and that’s not what we face.

I would care if there was mercury in my fish. I would care if there was lead in my water. I would care if I had asthma attacks when I went for a bike ride. I would care if I broke into hives when I played on the beach. I would care if the river caught on fire. I would care if our green space began to vanish or was buried in trash. All of these things are bad and the government has (and should continue to) stop them.

But let’s get real for a minute. All of those things are bad because they have tangible negative repercussions on our surroundings. Drink contaminated water and you’re going to die. Cause. Effect.

What is the effect of me drinking bottled water on the environment? Point to it. Show me. Say, “There it is!” What is the effect on the environment of me keeping my apartment a frosty 68 degrees 24/7? I have no clue what process is used to make my electricity, but even if it were coal, can you honestly point to the disastrous consequences of that plant? My air is fine, my water is fine, my parks are fine, the crops grow fine, and if we keep on living exactly the way we have in the past, that will not change.

There are environmental regulations where I live. They are not here because of global warming. They are here because I live in the 4th most populous city in America and one of the most spread out cities in the world and people drive to work every day. That commute creates smog which sucks to breathe. We put strict inspection regimes (admittedly, stricter than I would like them to be) in place on our vehicles and, magically, the air quality goes back to normal again. The doom sayers would have you believe that these standards are in place to protect the ice sheets from melting, the oceans from rising, and the world turning into a bad Keven Costner movie. It’s simply not true.

Yes, the world goes through periods of higher and lower temperature. Yes, we’re seeing a period of warmer temperatures. The last time we saw one was between 900 and 1300 AD when there was absolutely no industrial output of greenhouse gas. Between then and now, we had a mini ice age. Incidentally, that ice age hit us at the beginning of the industrial revolution and it too lasted about 400 years. That cooler period had nothing to do with man-made climate change. Given that these things happen without mankind’s intervention, could someone please (and I’m serious when I ask this) give me some proof that humanity is the cause of our current warming period?

As of yet, no one has been able to step up to the plate and deliver any real proof.

We’re All Going To Die

Speaking of things that just happen as a natural part of global weathering processes, the following represents eight minutes of research on Google:

Dunwich, England. Virtually every part of the city founded about 500 AD has disappeared to erosion. Rosslare Fort, Ireland. The peninsula it sat on washed away in the 1920s. Port Royal, Jamaica. Abandoned in 1692 after an earthquake caused it to sink into the sea. Santa Fe la Vieja, Argentina. Abandoned in 1660. Currently being excavated by divers. Saeftinghe, Netherlands. Submerged in 1584 after the dams protecting it were destroyed. Human intervention in the environment actually created and sustained that place. Heraklion, Egypt. Abandoned in the 8th century AD. Olous. A Greek city. Currently underwater near the present day town of Elounda, Greece. Helike. A submerged Greek city. Abandoned in the 3rd century BC. There are more, I’m just too lazy to look them up.

Unless I’m going completely insane, I was under the impression that the global warming doomsday scenario was all about man-made pollutants melting the ice caps and sinking our cities. In reality, not only is there no proof that this scenario is playing out, I can reach into the internet and find cities that have sunk without the help of human intervention. Indeed, there are cities that, without human intervention, would be underwater right now.

New Orleans isn’t just below sea level, it’s sinking at a rate of about 3 feet every 100 years. Sinking. The water isn’t rising, the city is actually sinking. New Orleans isn’t alone. Parts of California are under sea level. Were they to flood, we’d lose a dozen cities. Even parts of Long Island – New York City – are under sea level. There used to be rivers on Long Island. Man has intervened to create livable space in places nature never intended us to inhabit. Without the modern sophisticated drainage system in place today, those areas would be under water.

And none of that has anything to do with global warming. It’s basic geological processes meeting humanity’s will to transform the world around us. A few miles from here, they are bringing in dump trucks full of sand to replace the beaches washed away after Hurricane Ike. Either the sea level increased and made the beach disappear and we need to stop eating pork (there’s lots of methane produced to get you your bacon!) and driving to work every morning (evil SUVs!) or a massive storm surge eroded chunks of Galveston Island. Your call.

Look folks, climate change I believe in. Man-made apocalypse created by industrialized society… not so much. I’m all for stopping Dr. Evil from dumping radioactive sludge into the river so I’m not poisoned when I brush my teeth. I’m not going to start walking everywhere because of a 1.5 degree Celsius shift in average surface temperatures. I’m sick of seeing rubbish everywhere I go. I’m not going to stop drinking coke. I’m going to throw the damn can in the garbage where it belongs.

The environment is a quality of life issue. You have to ask yourself, “under which scenario am I better off?” If you’d rather pay 40 bucks and spend an hour getting a sticker put on your car once a year instead of being unable to breathe outside, then maybe some vehicle inspection legislation is okay. You have to ask yourself which situation you’d rather find yourself in. The problem with this sort of debate is that people like to make things up and engage in fear mongering to get their points across.

Tell me, which would you prefer: Living in a cave with no electricity, or drowning when the ice caps melt? When will either of those things ever happen? What kind of choice is that?

Don’t buy it. Demand some proof. And for the love of God, think for yourselves every once in a while.