Theocracy Is Not Conservative
I have been repeatedly accused of not being a true conservative because of my firm conviction that religious beliefs are not infallible and that basing an entire nation’s political and social policy on any one interpretation of any one belief system is a laughable notion. I could go on a rather vicious rant as to why that is, but, as Alton Brown would say, that’s another show. In short, I’ve been told that the words secular and conservative don’t go together and the people who tell me that couldn’t be more wrong.
Today, I’m here to present a rebuttal. A while back I explained what the evolving definition of what being conservative means and, in a long and winding way, I eventually boiled it down to a set of political values that are the result of a long and winding conservative movement. American conservatives believe in smaller government, devolution of government powers, lower taxes, fiscal responsibility, free market capitalism, free trade, minimalist regulation, self-reliant citizens, strong foreign policy, stricter interpretation of law, skeptical (dare I say conservative?) implementation of new laws, and, yes, an imposition of biblical morals and values.
All but one of these value are in harmony with one another. All but one of these value can be put next to any other value on the list and it can be said that these two values are consistent and complementary of one another. The odd man out – the one value that clashes with each of the other conservative values, is religion.
I do, here and now, declare that theocracy is incongruent with every other conservative value. No, really, let’s look at it.
Conservatives believe in smaller government, but every law, program, and prohibition requires a government entity to oversee it. Conservatives believe in fiscal responsibility, but those entities aren’t free. We believe in lower taxes, but the only way to responsibly raise money for those programs is to raise taxes. Conservatives believe in states rights and the power of communities to make their own decisions, but we somehow think that federal bans on biblically immoral behavior aren’t just acceptable, they’re necessary. Conservatives believe in a minimalistic approach to regulation – which I guess I can give to the religious crowd because if something is banned outright it’s not really regulated, right? We believe in a strict interpretation of the law, the highest of which clearly states that congress shall make no law regarding the establishment of religion. And as skeptical (conservative?) as I am when it comes to new plans and new policies, blindly rejecting new policies as the times change your situation isn’t an honest objection – it’s stupid, stubborn, and dangerous.
Any intellectually honest person can look at the inherent contradictions in these values and realize that they are at best incongruent and at worst completely incompatible. We true conservatives, we free thinking people, we rational, enlightened few, need to step back and see the forest from the trees.
Someone tell me where I’m wrong on this one.


I am a deeply religious person. At the heart of my faith is the knowledge that my faith is unique. Simply put, my beliefs are not your beliefs. I do not wish to be told what to believe in. Neither do you. My secularism comes not from an absence of religion, but rather a deep empathy with those who do not share my beliefs and do not want me to force my beliefs upon them. Something about “doing unto others” comes to mind for some reason. If Christians actually lived up to the teachings of Christ, Christianity would be a beautiful religion.